MS?!

What do I do next? I decide to be proactive and schedule appointments with the neurologists and figure out what to tell my family and friends.

I’m a talker and I have always been pretty open with my friends and family about myself and what I’m going through. They know me well enough to know there was something wrong anyway. I found talking about it was the best way to begin the coping process (Although I think coping will always be a struggle for me – it’s not easy to realize the course of your life has changed forever.) Since my MS is visible –it mainly affects my mobility so you can see that I am limping, using a cane off and on and/or resting a lot – disclosing my MS was a relatively easy decision for me to make. Telling others is an extremely personal decision. Follow your heart, your head, and this.

I am lucky. I have a compassionate and educated group of friends and a loving and supportive family. While they are concerned and sympathetic, they leave it to Adam and me to do what we need to do. They know I will share when I am ready. When you have been diagnosed with MS, you are the one experiencing the symptoms but your diagnosis will affect those around you too. I remember quoting Russ Feingold with his “Forward!” slogan.

Ahead is the only real place to go so I see a neurologist at UCSF to complete a few tests to confirm my diagnosis – I have another MRI, I walk, close my eyes and balance, get my reflexes checked, etc., and finally have a lumbar puncture (spinal tap). It is hard to diagnose MS. While there are tests to guide the doctor towards an MS diagnosis, it seems to be almost more productive to rule out all other possible diagnoses.

So now I’ve really got MS.